Thoughts
by Samhain Feis
Summary: Ever wonder what a character was thinking about at some point in the movie? Well here they are. R/R or I shall turn you into something... unnatural MWHAHAHAHA *Chapter 6 added*
1. Default Chapter

Wizards, Balrog, and Frodo  
  
  
  
Disclaimer – I don't own LotR, but I would like to own the hobbits… and Gandalf's Hat & Wizard Staff of DOOM!!!  
  
All must review yes yes review! PLEASE, must... have… reviews, If you don't review I shall turn you into something… unnatural. Flames will be used to cook taters. So flame go on I dare yah.  
  
()()()()()()  
  
1 Gandalf  
  
(While in Bag End)  
  
Damn small houses. Damn chandelier. Damn wood.  
  
(When Frodo tries to give him the ring)  
  
I can't have that it would clash with my outfit. I mean, I'm Gandalf the Grey not Gandalf the Gold.  
  
(On Caradras (I know I spelled that wrong, I am to lazy to get my book and look it up))  
  
Stupid Elf walking on the top of the snow, I hope he falls off the mountain  
  
(While fighting with Saruman with the Wizard Staffs of DOOM)  
  
Catfight Meow  
  
(When the moth comes while he is captive in Isenguard)  
  
So hungry need to eat. No, must not eat the moth.  
  
(After falling in Moria – this is sorta a spoiler. Don't read if you haven't read the second book)  
  
Won't they be surprised when they find out I only went to change my wardrobe.  
  
(After Saruman says that the "hafling's leaf has slowed your mind")  
  
Did he just call me an addict?  
  
()()()()()()()()  
  
2 Saruman  
  
(While looking in the seeing stone)  
  
God, I need a manicure.  
  
(While making Gandalf spin in the air)  
  
And now you shall feel my wrath, you must… break dance.  
  
(While Gandalf and him are talking before Gandalf comes into his palace or whatever)  
  
Now I have you in my clutches MWHAHAHAHAHAHA.  
  
(After Gandalf is rescued by the Eagle)  
  
Where did the Eagle come from?  
  
(After sending Gandalf to the roof of… you know his palace place)  
  
Up and up and up he goes. Where he stops nobody knows.  
  
(When he and Gandalf are talking about the palatir)  
  
You fool, it is a magic eight ball.  
  
()()()()()()()()  
  
3 Balrog  
  
(You pick a moment)  
  
I want chicken, I want liver, Meow Mix, Meow Mix please deliver.  
  
(After pulling Gandalf down by the use of his whip)  
  
When a problem comes along you must whip it, whip it good.  
  
(When he first comes out)  
  
Never send ocrs or a cave troll to do a Balrog's job.  
  
()()()()()()()()  
  
4 Frodo  
  
(After pushing Sam into dancing with Rosie)  
  
I'm up for grabs here (A/N: I guess that is sort of an inside joke among my friends and I)  
  
(After being grabbed by the watcher (Is that what it is called?) outside of Moria)  
  
God, everything bad always happens to me! Never can it happen to Sam or someone else, always me  
  
(After Boromir hands him the ring on Caradras (sp))  
  
Okay, he's starting to freak me out  
  
(In Lorien)  
  
Oh God, I think I'm schizophrenic (sp)  
  
(At the mirror of Galadriel)  
  
She wants me to look into her birdbath?  
  
(At some time with the Nazgul)  
  
What the… oh great the ring talks.  
  
(At any time he falls)  
  
Note to Self, work on coordination.  
  
()()()()()()()()  
  
Well, do you want me to write more of these strange thoughts? Please tell me!!!!!!! Oh yeah, REVIEW!!!! PLEASE. If you want more I'll probably write some more for these people in another chapter, I've reached the dreaded writer's block. Oh yeah and I have 4 essays to do on Johnny Tremain (I hate you Johnny!!). If you have any ideas tell me. 


	2. Legolas, Aragorn, and Sauron

Legolas, Aragorn, and Sauron  
  
Hey all! Thanks for your reviews; you have made me so happy!!! Please review some more, I still have a Wizard Staff of DOOM and I know how to use it! Sorry that this has taken so long but with the 4 essays for stupid Johnny Tremain (MWHAHAHA… I will turn you into something unnatural Johnny!!) and my softball games (I'm so stupid, I 'm on 2 teams) I haven't had much time to write. Oh, please don't turn me into anything unnatural!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own LotR it belongs to Tolkien. (All except Legolas who belongs to Lin*wink wink*)  
  
()()()()()()  
  
1 Legolas  
  
(After Gandalf says 'They are fouler things then orcs' in Moria)  
  
I hope he doesn't mean Fan girls  
  
(On Cadahras (sp))  
  
Haha, they have to walk through the snow and I don't.  
  
(Fill in when here)  
  
I need more lines. I have practically no lines! Well at least I have more than Gimli.  
  
(When they are in Lorien and the elves are singing)  
  
Oh, they're square dancing.  
  
(Fill in when here)  
  
*About Aragorn*Why does he always get the girls?  
  
(Fill in when here)  
  
How come I don't get to speak in elvish? Heck, even Aragorn speaks it and he isn't an elf.  
  
(After saying 'There is a foul voice upon the wind' or something like that)  
  
Bad choice of words  
  
(At Amon He or the Breaking of the Fellowship part)  
  
Where's a mirror when you need one. I hope my hair isn't messed up.  
  
()()()()()()()  
  
  
  
1.1 Aragorn  
  
(When Frodo disappears in Bree)  
  
God, what I do pipe-weed – Thanks Sari, Elven ranger  
  
(In Bree)  
  
MWHAHAHA, I'll just sit here and look creepy. I'll freak the little critters out.  
  
(When we first see Arwen)  
  
Yeah just stop me from doing what I'm doing and let the Hobbit die. Good thinking Arwen.  
  
(On Cadhras)  
  
Why can't Legolas carry two of the Hobbits, he is the one who can walk on the snow.  
  
(On Weathertop)  
  
Look at me I'm no mere Ranger… I am Strider the fire thrower.  
  
(After saying 'I thought I had strayed into a dream')  
  
Not a good one mind you  
  
(After receiving Andruil otherwise know as his sword)  
  
This sword is the greatest sword EVER!! With this sword I shall rule the world. Yes the one sword to rule them all.  
  
(After Legolas says something about going after Frodo and Sam)  
  
Why would we go after them, I'd rather kick some orc butt!  
  
(After Boromir picks up the ring on Cadras)  
  
I think we should start to worry about him.  
  
(After Boromir drops The Sword in Rivendell)  
  
Do you have no respect for the GREATEST sword EVER.  
  
()()()()()()()  
  
1.2 Sauron  
  
(Anytime anyone sees the eye)  
  
Peek-a-boo I see you  
  
(Fill in when here)  
  
Ring, ring whose got the ring.  
  
(Fill in when here)  
  
I want a magic eight ball too.  
  
(In the beginning when he comes into the battle)  
  
MWHAHAHA, everyone stops fighting when I come around. Who's bad… I'm bad.  
  
(In the Mirror of Galadriel)  
  
I have appeared!! All hail me!!!  
  
(Right before Isildur cuts the ring of his finger)  
  
Don't worry I won't pay attention to the sword that you are waving at me. Yep, I'll just reach down like an idiot and let you cut of my ring.  
  
(When Gandalf sees the eye)  
  
BOO!!!!!!  
  
()()()()()()()  
  
Well another chapter is finished. YEAH all rejoice!!!!! I finished all my stupid essays!!!! And now I'll have some fun! **Proceeds to run around with Wizard Staff of DOOM and turn everything in sight into something unnatural** MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Frodo (muse) – Help she's gone CRAZY!!  
  
SHUT UP!!*Ties Frodo down* Now be good. 


	3. Sam, Elrond, and the Cave Troll

Sam, Elrond, and the Cave Troll  
  
  
  
You like me you really like me!!!!! YEAHHHH!!!!! More fun for Frodo and me.  
  
Frodo – Oh great  
  
I know, we are having sooooo much fun. You have all made me so very happy! Gosh it took me awhile to finish this one (Darn that Elrond and his tricky thoughts). Thanks to all of those reviewers who are giving me ideas, they are so much funnier than my stuff. Who should I do next, any suggestions. And all those who do not review will feel my wrath*picks up Wizard Staff of DOOM* MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Can you guess what I do not own in this fic? LotR of course.  
  
()()()()()()()  
  
1 Sam  
  
(In Shelob's Lair)  
  
1.1 Now what would make a web that big? *Shrugs* Oh well, whatever. – Thanks Melilot Millstone  
  
(On the way to Bree)  
  
Stupid Frodo. Just 'cause he's older doesn't mean I have to carry all his crud. – Thanks Talking Hawk  
  
(In Rivendell)  
  
They have good gardens here. I approve of them. Won't the Elves be glad?  
  
(When Sam, Merry, and Pip go to find Frodo in the room in Bree)  
  
I have a candle and I know how to use it. Beware me!!!!  
  
(In Moria after Frodo was stabbed by the Cave Troll in Moria)  
  
Oh my God, they killed Frodo.  
  
(When Frodo pulls Sam out of the river at the end of the movie)  
  
I almost drowned for you now you have to bring me with you. You own me.  
  
(After Gandalf says "Have you been eavesdropping")?  
  
What does it look like I'm doing.  
  
(While dancing with Rosie)  
  
And people think I'm gay. Geez, how wrong can they be?  
  
()()()()()()()  
  
2 Elrond  
  
(At any point with the Hobbits)  
  
Bow to me mortals MWHAHA!  
  
(While planning the Fellowship)  
  
I know! I send four of the most unlikely, smallest people in Middle Earth, who don't even know what end of the sword to hold and one still has his voice changing to destroy the one ring that could destroy the world. Am I brilliant or what? – Thanks Melilot Millstone  
  
(After saying "you shall be the fellowship of the ring")  
  
Oh yeah, what a great title. I am so smart!!! I think of the best names and the greatest plans. Oh yeah if I was on the evil side all would fear me.  
  
(While Arwen is giving up her immortal life for Aragorn)  
  
I hope my daughter isn't doing something stupid like giving up her immortal life right now.  
  
(When deciding who should go after Strider and the Hobbits, Glorfindel or Arwen)  
  
Ennie mennie Minnie moe, catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers let him go, ennie mennie Minnie moe. Okay Arwen it is.  
  
(When all the races start to fight at the Council)  
  
Oh great, there goes my perfect, well-planned, marvelous council. Curse the dwarves.  
  
(While healing Frodo)  
  
Powers don't fail me now.  
  
()()()()()()()  
  
Cave Troll  
  
(After being shot in the head by Legolas)  
  
Great now I have a migraine  
  
(When him and Frodo are playing hide-and-seek)  
  
Come out come out wherever you are  
  
(While roaring at Frodo)  
  
Fear my bad breath  
  
(When all the people are climbing on his head)  
  
I am not a horse get off me.  
  
(While he is falling as he is dying)  
  
TIMBER!!!  
  
()()()()()()  
  
All good things must come to an end and sadly this is the end of Chapter 3*sob*. Well remember review or I shall light dragon fireworks and run around screaming like a crazy person! The Wizard Staff of DOOM commands you! 


	4. Merry, Pippin, and Ringwraiths

1 Merry, Pipppin, and The Nazguls  
  
  
  
Disclaimer – I DON"T OWN LOTR!!!  
  
Wow, this took me long enough!!! I blame it on my muse*points at Frodo*  
  
Frodo – Hey what did I do.  
  
You're not musing well enough!!  
  
()()()()()  
  
1.1 Merry  
  
(When he throws apples at the cave troll)  
  
HAHA!! Take that! Feel the horrible pain of the apple!  
  
(After Nazgul comes for the first time)  
  
What the… who the heck is that?!  
  
(At the end)  
  
Why didn't he stop after being shot by one arrow? I mean three arrows, now he's just showing off!  
  
(After Frodo figures out the password)  
  
Hey, that was my line!!!!  
  
(Any point I after the quest begins)  
  
Frodo is one unlucky Hobbit!  
  
(When Pip and Merry are with the ents)  
  
Do you think they could go just a bit faster? I can walk faster the they can.  
  
(After Gandalf says "Always follow your nose.")  
  
What is that supposed to mean. I do hope you aren't going to turn into a toucan.  
  
()()()()()  
  
  
  
1.2 Pippin  
  
(Any point)  
  
I am so very, very hungry. Why do they neglect my need for food?  
  
(After being attacked on Weathertop)  
  
I need some ale. I wonder if anyone has a pint?  
  
(Any point where Merry has an apple (And that happens a lot))  
  
Where does he keep getting all these apples?  
  
(In Moria)  
  
I wonder what would happen if I took this arrow? Nothing bad I'm sure!  
  
(In Lothlorien)  
  
Hey, Frodo gets something, why can't I have something?!?!?!  
  
(After throwing the bag of mushrroms away so they could get away from the Nazgul)  
  
Why did we have to throw the mushrooms? I'm sure we could have found something else.  
  
(When he tricks they orc into thinking him or Merry has the ring)  
  
Orcs are so stupid!! I like 'em.  
  
(When they meet the Ents)  
  
Wow! That is big, no gigantic, no um… something bigger!  
  
()()()()()  
  
1.3 Ringwraiths  
  
(When looking for Frodo in the forest)  
  
Excuse me I have a cold.  
  
(Any time)  
  
Black is defiantly our color. It is so chic!  
  
(Any time)  
  
I'm so glad we all decided to wear matching cloaks!!  
  
(When first entering the Shire)  
  
This is fun! I could just stay around here freaking those stupid munckin things.  
  
(After being washed away in the flood)  
  
We are so going to get back at that elf! She ruined our cloaks!!!  
  
(At Weathertop when Strider attacks)  
  
AHHH!!! Fire in my face! It hurts it hurts!! Wait a minute I'm not alive! Cool this doesn't affect me. I'll just jump out of here anyway  
  
(Any time)  
  
What shall I name my horse? I know pumpkin!  
  
()()()()()()  
  
How's that? It seems bad to me, what do you guys think? puts on weird music with a spinning thing in the background* REVIEW, REVIEW!! THE HOBBIT COMANDS YOU!! **holds up Frodo** 


	5. Gilmi, Gollum, and More Frodo

I've finally gotten back to this one!!! Aren't you all so very, very glad? Of course you are!  
  
Lady Baggins of the Shire and Alisyn: I guess it's really your reviews that got me back to this one! I thought everyone had lost interest of this. Insanity forever!!!!! I WANNA HAT TOO!!!! **Runs off to find Gandalf**  
  
Frodo - Do I have to be here? I wanna 'shroom!  
  
You have to be here, 2. NO! They're mine!!! MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Frodo - **roll eyes**  
  
Disclaimer - LotR isn't mine, as you all know.  
  
Warning - This contains many spoilers, read at your own risk! **Start to think about the beach** ()()()()()  
  
Gimli, Gollum, and More Frodo  
  
Gimli  
  
(At the council)  
  
Elves everywhere!! It's like a nightmare!  
  
(After trying to destroy the Ring)  
  
Thank god I didn't use my axe. It's so much better than his.  
  
(After they find Merry and Pippin in Isengard)  
  
Okay, we go through all this trouble to find them and they're here having munchies. Well this is certainly not fair! Where's MY munchies!  
  
(On the Anduin)  
  
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, merrily merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.  
  
(In Lorien)  
  
How come she didn't want me to look into the birdbath?  
  
(After joining the Fellowship)  
  
AH! I'm being brain washed! I'm starting to like elves!  
  
(Any time)  
  
How come no one ever listens to me? I bet even Elf-boy has more lines that me.  
  
()()()  
  
  
  
Gollum  
  
(In The Hobbit)  
  
We should have never trusted that Bagginssss. Probably didn't even taste good. no minty-freshness.  
  
(While being tortured)  
  
We makessess one bad joke and we getsss tortured.  
  
(Anywhere before losing the Ring)  
  
We givessess the Preciousss this bouquet of fisssh.  
  
(In Moria)  
  
Suprissse suprisse! Look who hasss come to visit you.  
  
(As he falls into Mount Doom)  
  
We forgetssess not to dance around deep holessess in mountain.  
  
(Anytime)  
  
See! Our eyessess are bigger and more beautiful than stupid Bagginssss!! We wantss the fangirlsss!  
  
(After biting off Frodo's finger)  
  
Hm. what an interesting flavor, not really minty-fresh but it has some zing. We approve! ()()()  
  
  
  
More Frodo  
  
  
  
(Anytime)  
  
I'm lonely! Great, I'm going to have to talk to the Ring again.  
  
(After Gollum bites off his finger)  
  
Ack! If you were hungry I could have given you a fish stick or something!  
  
(In Rivendell)  
  
I wonder if Elrond ever smiles. He should remember smiles make the world go round!  
  
(In Bree)  
  
I know! I can dance on the tables! There's no way that I'd fall off. I'd never fall.  
  
(After first encountering Shelob)  
  
I have a nightlight! It makes all the monasteries go bye bye!  
  
(While he is in the tower after Shelob)  
  
Stupid orcs. If I had a whip thingie I'd show them what's what!  
  
(As Bilbo makes his speech)  
  
I think he's had one to many ales. ()()()()()  
  
YAY!!!! I've finished it in time for the Day-after-DVD-comes-out Day!!!! HOORAY!!!! **Throws confetti**  
  
Frodo - Hey look! I'm on the screen!  
  
**Rolls eye** Duh Frodo!  
  
Frodo - I still want some 'shrooms!  
  
Okay, okay! If people review than I'll give you some 'shrooms. Did you hear that people?! Review for the poor little Hobbit! Er. did I do Sam yet? 


	6. Sam, Boromir, and Haldir

Yay!!!! People reviewed and they want more!! HOORAY FOR ME!!!! Ack! Most of them actually WANT me to give you the 'shrooms. no fair.  
  
Frodo: I win! Hand them over!  
  
Fine. **hands Frodo a bag of mushrooms**  
  
Frodo: 'SHROOMS!!! Hooray!  
  
I want some!  
  
Frodo: NOO!!!  
  
**Chases Frodo with Sam's Skillet of DOOM** GIMME!!!!  
  
Disclaimer - Nope, don't own LotR. ()()()()  
  
Sam, Boromir, and Haldir  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sam  
  
(At Bilbo's 111th party)  
  
Is that what Mr. Frodo calls dancing? Poor boy.  
  
(After saying "Nothing important. I heard a good deal about the Ring and." you know the part)  
  
Now if it was about ale or some food that would be a good deal of importance. Who really cares about the end of the world?  
  
(When Pippin runs into Frodo)  
  
Hey! He falls down on his own enough he doesn't need any help!  
  
(In Cirith Ungol)  
  
Now I wonder what would make a web that big? Oh well. Nothing dangerous I'm sure. - Thanks Melilot Millstone  
  
(In Mordor)  
  
I see an orc, and another orc, hey look! It's another orc!  
  
(When he runs into the door thing after the orcs take Frodo)  
  
Always remember, open the door before trying to go through it.  
  
(In the Prancing Pony)  
  
For some reason I don't trust that creepy guy in the corner. I have no idea why.  
  
(After nearly drowning in the river)  
  
See, all you have to do to get Frodo to change his mind is try to drown yourself. No big deal.  
  
(When Frodo leaves for the Undying Land)  
  
Happy trails to you, until we meet again. ()()()  
  
Boromir  
  
(On Caradhas when he gives the Ring back to Frodo)  
  
Ohhhh, it was my friend. I miss it.  
  
(When he dies)  
  
Great, I'm out of this stupid Fellowship before anything good happens. I'm going to have a little chat with my lawyer.  
  
(As he floats down the river)  
  
Row, row, row your boat gently down the WAAATTTTEEEERRRRFFFFAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!!  
  
(When the Balrog comes)  
  
I bet I could kill that stupid. never mind.  
  
(On Caradhas when they are carrying the Hobbits)  
  
Why didn't I get to carry Frodo? I mean so what if I want to take the Ring. Don't they trust me?  
  
(When Frodo puts on the Ring at Amon He)  
  
Damn it! Stupid invisibility! I want to be invisible!  
  
(When he arrives in Rivendell)  
  
Nobody panic! They Gondorians have arrived!  
  
(Whenever Frodo gets hurt, scared, ect and starts crying)  
  
Oh there he goes again. The little Drama Queen. - Thanks Adaline ()()()()()  
  
Haldir  
  
(When he first comes on)  
  
Boo! Scared you didn't I.  
  
(Anytime)  
  
They don't pay me enough to show any expression  
  
(Anytime)  
  
I actually get a line. Isn't that great. And I get a whole minute of screen time. I'm the luckiest Elf in the world.  
  
(Anytime)  
  
You get to see the Lady of the Wood. She does magic tricks. ()()()()()  
  
Sorry it took so long. I have been having trouble writing and all. And now it's school time. Does anyone still like this, if no body does then I'll stop. PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I'M DESPERATE!!!  
  
Frodo: *with a mouth full of 'shrooms* Like that's a new thing for you.  
  
Shut up! I let you have all the 'shrooms!  
  
Frodo: What do you have behind you back then?  
  
Nothing! *Sticks 'shrooms in her pocket* Except my Wizard Staff of DOOM! And if you don't behave I'll turn you into a worm. or something. 


End file.
